Workshop Etiquette

Leather Pride

Erotic Deviance
Workshop Etiquette Guidelines

The nature of kinky workshops mandate some differences from the Twin Cities general etiquette guidelines for events, play parties and social gatherings. Workshops are learning environments where questions are encouraged, closer looks are helpful and interaction necessary. Workshops are also environments where people are learning new skills in a new environment around people they may have just met. Because of this, workshops are necessarily more risky, physically and emotionally.

The people who attend our events are from diverse racial, cultural and socio-economic backgrounds. Their ages span from 18 to 60, they frequently have different beliefs, values and communication styles, they certainly have different personalities and nearly everyone has different alternative erotic interests.

The fact is that what is, “appropriate, considerate common sense” to one person may not be to someone else. Therefore it is even more important that people be extra sensitive, patient, compassionate and assertive with their interactions and communications.

So expect people to not know how you would like to be interacted with. Expect people to make good natured mistakes, put their foot in their mouths, do inappropriate things. By the same token, expect to be confronted on your behavior, expect to be corrected. While all of the above behaviors can seem scary or possibly harsh, they can all be accomplished with civility, pleasantness, compassion & patience.

Creating Enjoyable Safer Space

Many things we do in life carry with them some risk. Risk of injury, either physical or emotional is a pretty common fact of living as a human being. From asking someone out on a date to driving to work in your car, our lives are full of risk.
It is impossible to create a completely safe space for everyone at the same time. We are all of us human with different backgrounds, identities and belief systems. So what factors must be involved for a space to be completely safe for one of us, might not be the same for someone else, if 100% safety is even possible, even on an individual basis.

In addition, many of us have been damaged in the past, physically and emotionally. This can take the form of having a bad back or asthma to being an abuse survivor. For many, in light of the inherent risk of daily living mixed with our past, interacting with others can be very challenging.

At the same time, Erotic Deviance an organization of adult people interested in participating in social activities with other people, including kink. These activities naturally carry with them some level of emotional and physical risk, some more than others. We are certainly not a therapeutic institution, nor is our organization's purpose healing or protective in nature.

Given these challenges, how do we come together as adults to play, to socialize together including participating in kinky activities in such a way that maximizes the chance that everyone will enjoy themselves and minimizes the chance of injury?

Physical & Emotional Safety

Erotic Deviance is committed to providing enjoyable safer space at our events. Safety includes emotional and physical safety.

Our events primarily consist of play parties and workshops, and so given the nature of the events, it is impossible to guarantee everyone’s physical safety. People can accidentally slip on the floor, and some kinky play carries with it some measure of risk to physical safety. In short, minor injuries can and do occur at public social functions of any kind, including adult kinky ones. Within the bounds of the nature of our events, please act responsibly and with due diligence regarding yours and other’s physical safety.

In addition, these events contain material and behavior that might be challenging for some emotionally. You may observe kinks you may not be into, people may politely ask you to engage in activities that you aren’t interested in doing or aren’t interested in doing with them. Within the bounds of the nature of our events, please act responsibly and with due diligence regarding yours and other’s emotional safety.

We do many things do facilitate an enjoyable safer space. We make available workshop and Twin Cities general etiquette guidelines to all participants. They are designed to maximize the enjoyment and safety for the most of our participants as possible. We also provide workshop assistants and Erotic Deviance Organizers at our events.

So please read and familiarize yourselves with our etiquette guidelines. If you feel uncomfortable at one of our events or are unable to negotiate a negative situation appropriately, please inform a Erotic Deviance Organizers and they will try and help. We also include an anonymous suggestion box at all our events.

To help facilitate the creation and maintenance of enjoyable safer space, the following guidelines were developed for our workshops.

Workshop Guidelines:

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Don’t assume someone knows what they are supposed to be doing, what they are not supposed to be doing, don’t assume someone will “get the hint.” This is true whether you are in a scene with someone or talking with someone or just watching. Newbies are common at workshops.
Try and be especially polite and considerate of other participants at the workshop. Kinky workshops can be risky, emotional, exciting stuff for some people. There is often a lot going on.
If you need help, have a question or are having a concern please do not hesitate to approach those hosting the workshop. We want to help make it better, we want everyone to enjoy themselves.
Questions are encouraged, but suggestions are often not. “put the object in her ear!” is not an appropriate thing to say.
Ask before taking a closer look at someone’s body or moving into someone’s scene-space to get a closer look. The only exception is if you are invited.
(Tops…make sure you get the bottom’s permission before you invite people over to have a closer look.)
Never touch anyone else without their specific verbal permission. Just because other’s are touching someone without appearing to ask, doesn’t mean you get to without asking. (They might be friends, otherwise have negotiated the touching, or are non-consensually touching someone.) In any event, ask.
(Tops…Make sure you get the bottom’s permission before you invite anyone to touch them.)
Clean up after yourself so other people can use the station. (Appropriate cleaning supplies will be provided.)
Keep the play/activities within the parameters of the workshop topic, unless you obtain specific permission from the workshop hosts.
Workshops are non-alcoholic events, no drugs allowed. Smoking is allowed outside.(Please dispose of butts in the butt can and remember that street dress is required outside the workshop area, including the toilets.)
We would prefer if you left recording devices of any kind at home. The only kind of recording devices ever allowed are devices that take single pictures. Audio and video recordings are strictly forbidden.

If you want a picture of something, you must get specific permission. This permission, when given, is only for that particular workshop and only for that particular subject.

In general, we would prefer if people took pics of only the scenes they were involved with and only of the people involved in that scene with them.
You need permission from a core Erotic Deviance organizer to take any picture. They should supervise any photo’s taken.
AND you need the specific permission of the person(s) you are photographing.
Watch your background when taking photos.
Watch the flash when taking photos, they can blind a top at the wrong moment or freak out a bottom who doesn’t know it’s coming.

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Other than the above points of note,
Twin Cities general etiquette guidelines apply.
Please make yourself familiar with both of these documents.

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